Opinion Central...Is It?

I have just looked at my blog after two years of inactivity, and I realized something rather crucial. I call this Shonny's Opinion Central, but I give no opinion of anything in my blogs. There are just rants about my life and a guy I barely remember. I have decided to post things that relate to the title from now on. There may not be much, but it's a productive first step. Notice this post doesn't give out opinion either.

Do You Qualify?

This is a poem I read that I really like and I want to share.

Do you qualify to be the man I need you to be?
Will you be able to recognize the things you
need to see? Will you be able to understand, that
I`m a good woman and in my life I need a good man?Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to fertilize my unproduced seeds?
Can you fulfill, as I can, all of our needs?
Can you put me in my place if you see I am slippin`?
Can you talk to me, wholeheartedly, not
constantly trippin??
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be called all mine?
Can you leave the other women and temptations
behind? Can you come to me with your problems and
not wait until it`s too late?
Can you stand up and admit if you made a mistake?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be the honest ebony man I
would want you to be?
Would you be able to look me in my eyes and
admit your feelings to me?
Could you take me in your arms and make love to
me all night long?
Can you be sensitive and still be strong?

Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be my friend as well as my
lover? Can you put our love before any other?
Can you cherish me as if I were Diamonds &
Gold? Can you make me feel like I`m the last
woman you`ll ever hold?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be called a GOD fearing man?
If I have doubts can you reassure me and understand?
Can your love intoxicate me as if I were High?
To be in my life, I need to know,


DO YOU QUALIFY?

************************************************

The Brother`s Response:


You ask, do I qualify.
Can I fulfill your needs and become the man you need me
to be?
My sister, are you prepared for what you`ve asked for?
Can you handle the responsibility?

Can you accept that, by GOD, I am the chosen
one, the authority, the comforter, and the head?
Will you submit and willingly follow my path?
As I am GOD lead?
Or will you fight with me instead?

If I am your King, will you treat me as such?
Will I get the best of your beauty and poise?
Or will I be subjected to an appearance
neglected, and checked with some serious noise?
When I talk, will you listen?
I mean whole heartedly and feel me?
Or will you rush me just to make your point too?
Can I be the man at all times? Even when it hurts?
Or is it just when it`s convenient for you?

Can you love me for me, and not who you wish I could be?
Will you see the strong Black Man within?
Or will you always remind me of the all
the past brothers behind me and make me pay for their
sins?

If I don`t send you flowers the day your co-worker
received some, will you know that I love you still?
Or will my good name be uttered along with those other
doggish brothers?
Will you question if my commitment is real?

Will you be patient and teach me to understand you,
and allow my knowledge of your needs to grow?
Or will you shut me out when I ask, Baby
what`s wrong?
Or will you respond with, "Well a REAL man would know!"

When we first met, what was it that caught your
eye? Was it my mind, my heart, my personality?
Or was it my suit, or my job, or do you love
what I drive, instead of what`s driving me?

Yes I can, and I will, make love to you from midnight to the
dawning of the sun.
But, if I tell you I`m tired, will you trust
I`m sincere or believe that there must be another one?
My sister, I love you and my heart can be yours. No
woman could lead me astray.
But like you, I have needs, so I beg of you, please, in this love thang
meet me half way.

In life`s tough times I`ll hold you, in the rough times I`ll mold
you;
your simplest wish will be my command.
My life is yours if need be.
Yes you can fully bleed me, and when hell comes, in your
place, I`ll stand.

A good relationship is a powerful institution that must be built
on a foundation of two.
GOD FIRST AND THEN MY LOVE FOR YOU.
So to answer your question,
YES sister, I do qualify.

Now, more importantly...do you?

Crazy In Like

I developed a crush on him (I'm withholding his name so it won't be so public. If you ask me, I'll tell you his name.) in between mid-October and early November. It was a full-on crush until January, when I told him how I felt about him and he rejected me. It's not me, it's him, he says. Whatever. Anyway, there wasn't any sense in me liking him anymore, but I keep thinking about him, thinking something could still happen between me and him. I'm very delusional. Anyway, I kept thinking about about things that I wanted to say back to him that day in January, but I couldn't. I had planned to tell him last night, but I didn't see any opportunity present itself. I feel sad and stupid at the same time. I just need closure before he leaves so I won't keep asking myself later on why I didn't talk to him about all this. At this point, I don't think I'll get it.

Personal Connections

When I was a little girl, I always envied the girls that were "in". By "in" I don't mean popular. I mean they were always talking about things. What he said, what she did. Some of the most interesting stories I would ever hear. Even better than the ones I read. I just wanted to have that connection with my classmates, maybe actually gain some good friends to hang out with and have slumber parties with. But I kept my mouth shut, looked at everyone else, and stayed in the house. I never really got to make those connections. Now, at seventeen years old, the alienation makes me wanna cry. I keep thinking "I am hiding, or do I want anyone to know the real me? I think about how nobody really knows the real Shondrika except well . . . Shondrika. I keep getting these generic labels. Smart, goofy, kinda nice. I'm letting people underestimate me. I'm not letting anyone notice me. I'm reaching out to me. I don't know if this will be read by anyone. What do I have to do to get some attention, scream all the time? Be mean and viscious and a total bitch? I barely have the strength to do that.Being a loner can really be lonely (sounds kinda stupid, I know). Just being by myself sometimes and reaching out at all. Sometimes I can't even talk because I just wanna be quiet. But then I don't wanna be quiet. I wanna talk and share my feelings and be accepted for all of me, not just what is seen.I don't wanna be loud. That's just stupid for me to do (no offense to anyone who's very outspoken). I don't wanna act stupid. I'm too smart for that. I don't wanna be talked to in a playful manner all the time. I want to know people's stories and feelings and thoughts and connect with them at some level. There's about 100 familiar faces around me and I really only consider 2 of them friends. I talk to some of my teachers more than I talk to my peers. That's very saddening to me. WILL SOMEONE JUST REACH OUT TO ME??

The Ever-Zooming World

Is it just me, or is the world zooming faster than it should? It was just like yesterday I was getting ready (sorta) for my junior year in high school, and now I'll be a senior this year and this year's seniors....well.....they'll be gone. Was I meant to get a bunch of classes with seniors just so I won't be able to see them in my senior year like I can see them now? Are we made to adapt to something just to adapt to something else? My life and the lives of the people around me are about the shift very big gears, and I'm not quite ready yet. When I'm finally ready, I'm gonna hold on tight, sit back, and enjoy the ride.

A girl's quest for a crush

My world has gone through a double change in less than a week. I became a 17 year-old, and the world welcomed itself to the year 2006. I took it as signs that something special will happen. See, I've had this crush on this guy at my school for imma say 2 months now. He's really great. He's smart and cute and funny and just the kinda guy that i like. Does he know? you ask. No, he doesn't. But that's going to change. I plan on telling him soon. Soon could be tomorrow or next week or next month. But i know i will tell him before it's too late. So I will be embarking on a journey I've never embarked on before. I've never confronted a boy about my feelings for him before. It becomes scary sometimes, but I have nothing to lose, right? If he doesn't like me, then it's his loss. But I want him to like me. Im very likeable once you get to know me. But rejection is terrible for me. Its like shutting down something ive been working on for only so long, and now I have to get over it, just like that. I want something more. I want to experience the unknown pleasures of being close to a boyfriend in the smallest moment. To admire him up close and not feel like a fool doing it. So Crush, whether you know it or not, I like you, and I will finish my quest and let you know soon...........

New Year, New Faces

As 2006 begins to fill our hearts with a new since of hope and wonder for what the year may bring, I ask myself " How will I do in school? Am I going to study my hardest and use my brain to the fullest (like I should), or will I get into another heart-wrenching rut where I just don't do much and seek the television and the Internet for my everyday-getaway from it all (like I did)? Will I just say things to make my mother happy (which I never do; when I say it, I mean it, but I get lost along the way and seek my getaway)? I truly hope for the best for me and everyone else in this world. I hope to build relationships with good people (especially with my wonderful crush) and make myself a better person.

Family Commraderie of the New Millenium

When I was a kid, I was crazy about my family. Our gatherings were the best. Birthday parties were the best, Christmas was cherished deeply, and Thanksgiving and Fourth of July had lots of food. But since 2000, we had dwindled greatly. Christmas has turned into a day. Birthdays are greeted only with Happy Birthday wishes. Thanksgiving is spent separated. So I ask the world. What has happened to family commraderie in the 21st century? At a time when these past six years and seen some of the greatest loss of life in history, and yet we grow apart when we should become closer. I believe there is hope for my family. The trick is making my hope into reality. Do I have any support out there in the world??